Rockin' in the Free World

I've got the park circus back in my cross hairs again.  That cycle has repeated itself rather consistently over the years following my epiphany in the late seventies as I became aware, much like the character in the pinball wizard.  It doesn't take a genius to "become aware," especially if you're anywhere near a park circus operation.  Can you believe those sons a bitches are now trapping lynx in the park, pretty damned near our back yard?  And wolverine I think.  I've got to confirm that one to be sure but they have been trapping wolverine for sure until very recently, once again, just to the north of us.  They're probably in a holding pattern for God knows what other species they decide to target.  God probably can't figure them out so I doubt if he knows!  Their days of setting up big, stinky bear bait stations may be a thing of the past but I wouldn't put that past them either.  I've seen those horrible looking cables snares in those bear baits and I assure you they take you back quite a few centuries into the medievel ages.  I think there's more than a few of them bugologists that need to be snared.  Wouldn't that be a hoot.  Snare'em, live trap 'em, then send them on their way and there's a good chance they'd never show their faces around here again.

Grizzly bears, lynx, and wolverine, to list just a few are in good shape around here.  By here I mean the entire Glacier National Park ecosytem including the Bob Marshall wilderness complex.  I'm talking about alot of undisturbed country.  There's no shortage of those critters around here I can tell you but there will be if they're continually fucked with.  Anyone with any brains around here knows damned well the populations of those animals is real good.  We live here, we see them from time to time.  We see their tracks and scat and we're all aware no one's trapping or shooting them much anymore.  So where's the problem Mr. Bureaucrat- Biologist?  "well, we're operating under a grant underwritten by the Center for Biological Diversity and very intent on determining the role of bifurcation in ecosystem management for species of special concern."  Oh make me puke why don't you?  I've heard it all before and I'll hear it all again and again. But the bottom line is that if it isn't broke don't fix it.

And by the way Mr. Ranger Man, if you continue to piss me off I'm bound by honor to piss you off as well.  I may have to run fifty head of horses through your study area (again!) this spring when I bring them all home.   It wouldn't be the first time.  Yup, we'll spill 'em and ride west with the canners and when we get to the pass we'll take the easy way back to the ranch.  Hit the trail at a lope, mud flying, elk scattering, all hell breaking loose.  But I swear, the lynx, wolverine, and griz will thank us.  Hell, they've had enough of the trapping business and anyway, they aren't as dumb as the folks trapping them so they'll hear us coming and give us our space.  And if the Park Circus boys get wind of our little adventure we can always wait until dark.  Wasn't it Ed Abbey who said never do during the daylight hours what you can do under the cover of darkness (or something close to that)!

We ran 'em back to the ranch a few seasons ago and I swear, I had a smile on my face the whole go round.  It wasn't a conscious decision to hit the park trail with the ponies.  I just felt that pull within me.  Kind of like flirting with a woman who's going to get you in trouble sooner than later but you just can't help yourself.  I'm speaking very hypothetically of course.  Or like cotton candy when you're a kid.  You know that stuff is going to rot your teeth but you just can't help yourself.  In any case,  I'm a man of principle and my better judgement prevailed so we hit the trail hard and never looked back.  And no one was any wiser for it.  Well, the trail didn't look quite like it had for a few years after our little escapade and if the subject ever came up in my presence I was sure to praise the Park Service for maintaining such a fine herd of elk in that area.  But, boy, do they do some damage to the existing trail system!

Well, back to the trapping practices of the boys (and girls in green) in OUR park.  I've bumped into some of them in the area and they're friendly enough folks.  But they're stupid.  Most of them have a connection to the University of Nuts and Raisins in Missoula and naturally, they're wildlife management majors and budding bureaucrats of the twenty first century.  They're young.  Hell, I was hunting the primary prey of lynx, lepus americanus, the snowshoe hare, at about the same time they were getting weaned off the tit.  They've been at this particular project for a few weeks now and haven't scored a lynx.  Good.  I'm rooting for the lynx.  I'm all for the wolverines as well.  They've had to endure an onslaught of trapping the past few years as a result of  just one more study that was somewhat successful from their perspective.  Check out Doug Chadwick's book, Wolverine Days.  I know for a fact that one of my pards very strategically attached his pubic hairs to one of the non-confining scent sites.  Apparently, the DNA from that hair didn't exactly match up with some of the existing data and did create a bit of angst at Park Headquarters.  It did me as well.  I had a nasty smile on my face for a week.

I guess you can tell by now that not everyone in the area is in applause mode as that applies to the continued and unnecessary trapping of so many species of animals, particularly sensitive species like lynx and wolverines.  Hey, we'll trap you and see how you like it.  There may darned well be solid justification for trapping some of our animal species for specific reasons at specific points in time.  But that ain't the case with this one.  The populations of those two species in particular and certainly the griz as well are robust and healthy and they don't need any fucking with by a bunch of masters degree driven students who should know better.

I have a funny feeling some of you reading this deal (like you Nicholas!) know damned well where the trail is I speak of.  Let's stay in touch.  We may have to cross the river after dark and visit Pedro Flores.  Get your horse saddled Newt.  Your coming, too!